Day: July 10, 2020

Maybe for a weekend

I should just let go

Give myself a moment

To spiral out of control.

All those things we talked about

I still want to do

Only difference going forward

It just won’t be with you.

I can hop onto a train

Go somewhere I’m not known

I could walk into most any bar

And take a stranger home.

I could play it all

The fantasies I have

For just a weekend

Cater to my side of bad.

The good girl gone wild

When the daylight fades

Somewhere far away

Where they don’t know my name.

But unfortunately that

Will never come to be

Unless there’s a connection

It’s hands off you see

I wish I’d never told you

That I hadn’t let you see

All the different layers

That made me…me.

You’ve got no right  in knowing

Who I am at 2am

I want my secrets back now

I pray and say Amen.

I feel parts of me are lost

Puzzle pieces that can’t be found

You were putting me together

Then you turned me upside down.

Every time you said you loved me

I believed it more and more

I put all my faith in you

And you walked right out the door.

True love doesn’t do that

It watches your back

Stays the course through it all

Preventing attacks

Shame on you For opening me

Then not sticking around

Leaving me in this dismal place

I hope I’m never found.

You’re the worst of the worst

For doing this to me

Never again will I show

My vulnerability.

You were the one

That was going to prove me wrong

On lessons I had learned of love

Seems I was right all along.

You took the cowards way out

Made me adore you and then

When I trusted you with me

You dropped me in the end.

So everything you held against me

Look closely at them now

You did the exact same thing

Maybe now you’ll figure out

My hesitations were on love

They never were on you

You proved me right on everything

That I already knew.

True love is just a myth

Commitment only lasts

If you fit into their box

And come without a past.

People throw around “I love you’s”

Like they’re picked fresh from a tree

And yet they stop to wonder why

It’s seldom said by me.

They trade it like its a commodity

Use it up, then go get more

Doesn’t matter if it’s fresh or not

Or slightly bruised before.

I used to wait at that same tree

Only to give away what I had gathered

And others took it happily

My efforts never mattered

When the tree was finally barren

All of its fruits picked clean

I picked up what had fallen

And it was toxic to me.

The rancid taste of love

Was the bitterest of pie

So the words “I love you”

Seem to be the biggest lie.

For the pits will leave you choking

Swallowing your own blood