Self Aware

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Are you self aware? 

If not, you should be. For we are incapable of fully connecting with others, if we lack the ability to see ourselves.

Self reflection is vital. It allows you to process, to grow, to overcome, to accept, to change.

We must be willing to see ourselves fully. 

Our Flaws, our irritating habits, our ugly truths, our personal demons. Acknowledging their presence enables you to also see your own light and beauty.

Being self aware, provides you with an expanse of necessary tools like understanding, compassion, empathy, patience and wisdom.

  1. Self awareness is the most essential factor for all of us to become better humans. To ourselves and others.

Parking lot Pondering

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Parking lot pondering …

My drum is so much louder now
A steadier beat than those
Who claim to hear its rhythm
But the song they do not know.
They’ve never heard the words
The bass is too low
Try to dance to the sound
Skip a beat, miss the tempo.
The sound at times is deafening
Even then they barely hear
The echo from the amplifier
Rings out as a whisper.
Still I keep pace
Stay true to my song
This is MY music
And I’ll march on.
I won’t change the lyrics
True to myself I’ll remain
While everyone’s changing stations
My channel stays the same.

Emotional Baggage

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Emotional baggage…we all carry it. You acquire your suitcase with that very first hurt. Perhaps it was your upbringing, the loss of a Pet, a move…your first love.

As time goes on, you begin to fill it up.
You place inside your disappointment, your pain and anguish, your grief, fears, anger…and sometimes even your hope.
Everyone suffers through loss, betrayals, broken hearts and unrequited love.

These trials steal from you, your innocence.

Your awe, is replaced with doubt. Your faith turns to fear. Your openness becomes guarded. You find yourself losing, who you were, to whom you are becoming.

In an attempt to recover, you start shedding the layers of what you’ve gone through. But you can’t just cast them aside. Those are lessons that you learned…scars that you’ve earned.

You put them in your suitcase, and carry it around, lest you forget and have to endure it all again.

So, when you meet those people that warn…don’t bring your emotional baggage…walk away. They have no desire to know what made you…individually you.
I guarantee they are self absorbed with their inflated sense of self entitlement and most importantly, suffer from emotional absence, awareness and empathy.

RaenellDawn 02/04/2018

Saving the World

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Everyone expects to see the smile, to hear the laughter from within,
You lend a hand, lend an ear
Time and time again.
You find the missing pieces
Put them back in place
Clean up all the messes
Never leave a trace.
You’re the 3 a.m phone call
Voice on the other end
Calming words of wisdom
To a stranger or a friend.
You pick up the slack
Others leave undone
The go to person
You’re always the one.
You keep it all together
They say you’re the glue
To fix what they’ve broken
Their shattered lives into.
Your energies spent
Going beyond and above
Healing what’s wounded
In all that you love.

Then in the down time
When it’s only you
You fall apart in silence
From the damage they do.
Your blood runs red
As tears fall down
The emotions scream
Though there is no sound.
You hold it in
While letting it out
Putting it on paper
What it’s all about.
You fix yourself
That’s what you do
You save the world
But nobody saves you.

Paper Roses

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They stopped making paper roses
When it became clear
That the lady on the corner
No longer stands there.
Nobody was aware
Or seemed to mind
She was always “just there”
Each and every time
They happened to pass
Or cast a glance
Always assuming
They’d have a chance
To pick one from
The bouquet she carried
Or the wagon she pulled
There was no need to hurry.
Until the day
They needed one
But when they arrived
The lady was gone
Only a posting
Was left behind
To her own garden she went
For real flowers this time
She traded cold concrete
And disposable love
Those Roses made of paper
Were just a representation of
What could only be found
In gardens well tended
Though nobody noticed
Until her corner days ended.
RaenellDawn 

Warning Label

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I should come with a warning
So your not blindsided by
My multitude of layers
and my many different sides.
A label that explains
When you first meet me
That at that precise moment
I’m who you need me to be.
One that lays out
That you won’t always get
The layer I was
When we first met.
Different people
Require different layers of me
So I’m constantly changing
For who they need me to be.
A label with clear direction
On what I need from you
Because my mouth will not request it
At times I become mute.
A “how to” tag
For my proper care
Handle me gently
Or I won’t be there.
A manual of explanations
That I sometimes can’t give
To help you understand
This life that I live.
A booklet full
Pages of instruction
For getting to know me
So you can follow direction.
A label that clarifies
Boundaries set in stone
Pay heed to those lines you cross
Or simply, leave me alone.
A receipt that shows
Line by line, how I’m made
Then circled at the bottom
The high price I’ve paid.
A manufacturers warranty
So you could trade me in
When it becomes obvious I don’t fit
In the box I came in.
May a refund be granted
To both you and I
When “no longer available “
Is the makers only reply.

RaenellDawn

Society

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As a society, we have evolved into a culture that now lacks the qualities that make us most Human.

The minds ability to grow an active imagination, has been replaced by a pill for ADHD, OCD etc., which cause lifelong side effects and fuel a mental madness.

We self bombard not only our minds, but also our emotions with violence, drugs, and pornographic images, that it has desensitized us all. Very few now have the capacity to show compassion, empathy, true loyalty, integrity or honor.

We’ve become the most selfish, self absorbed, emotionally absent, deviant society this world has known. It has taken away our awareness of others, and the ability to be fully present.

In the name of Acceptance and tolerance…we have sunk to an all time low of morals and code of conduct.

Embracing our inner selves, has split individuals in half. Between their reputation vs their character. Please stop confusing the two. The reputation is who people think you are. While your character is who you are.

Our founding Fathers are probably rolling over in their graves. Full of disappointment and disgust at the way we have chosen to misinterpret and convolute the laws. To bend and manipulate them for self gratification.

I think God must look down upon us and shake his head. Like a parent with a child of maturity, He probably regrets giving us the gift of “Free Will”, for we are no longer capable of choosing what’s best for our society as a whole, nor following the Ten Commandments. Has everyone forgotten?
He has done all he can for us. I wonder, does He ever pause and perceive us as his one “what if” I had not created them?

RaenellDawn

Madness

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If it wasn’t for writing
They’d think me insane
I speak all their truths
Without mentioning names
My pen is my dagger
The paper a tomb
My mind is a multitude
Of dark cavernous rooms.
Nobody travels
Or explores through the halls
Terrified of the images
cast on its walls.
Like mirrors they shine
And reflect back to
My brutal honesty
And truths of who
Ever left ghosts
Behind when they parted
I can pinpoint the moment
The madness all started.
That very second
That I recognized
Everyone wears
Some sort of disguise.
So I’ve adapted
And wear one too
Now the only difference is
I can still see you.
I’ve learned to shield
Myself from the whole
And I’ll always be someone
That nobody knows.
RaenellDawn 

Daddy’s Girl

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Daddy always said
With a twinkle in his eyes
Daughter you came out stubborn
Doctors couldn’t make you cry.
Yes, you got mad
Your skin turned bright red
But you wouldn’t scream
And those doctors said
There must be something
Wrong with this child
But I knew that your heart
It was born pure wild
You learned how to run
Before you could crawl
Never let anyone close
Kept your back to the wall
Where you could dart
This way or that
Away from eyes upon you
Wherever they sat
You would get so angry
And just hold your breath
Till you collapsed on the floor
And we witnessed your death
I would scoop you up by your ankles,
Give you a spanking
Till you breathed again
And I was thanking
The good Lord above
For this wonderful blessing
Then off you’d go
And I’d revert to cursing
As your heart got bigger
So did your mind
The wanderlust took you
To all the places you could find
Full of adventure
With no sense of fear
Till the calls came
And I heard your tears
“I’m so sorry Daddy,
That I am gone
But I’m okay
Please carry on
It’s so big
This beautiful world
And no matter what
I’m still your little girl
Remember that I am
A spitting image of you
And no matter what Daddy,
I love you too.

RaenellDawn

Unspoken

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I’ll open the door with a sentence
Before you ring the bell
Your lack of response says
More than words will ever tell.
You just stand there looking blindly
At me and then the floor
Then you turn slightly sideways
You don’t want to hear no more.
So the words will go unspoken
The feelings be suppressed
All my truths are too binding
And make you feel oppressed.
The depths at which I swim
You dare not even tread
You fight a bloody battle
But yet you fear my head.
When my words go unspoken
And to the corner I am cast
At any given moment
The chance could be your last.
I won’t stand indefinitely
In the doorway you see
If your eyes don’t look up
You can’t see me.
The silence will tell
What needs to be told
and the shadow you cast
Just lets in the cold.
Please keep on walking
Don’t hesitate
Either enter or leave
So I can close the gate.

RaenellDawn