My armor is so heavy
Yet I can not set it down
I have built my walls too high, you see
Others can not get around.
I know the pain, all too well
Of letting people in
Being this damned guarded
Is my gravest sin.
Loyalty and love
are simply not enough
When you’re required to offer everything
And you must give it upfront.
You can be all in
But that’s not enough
To extinguish the fears
You’ve been taught about love.
You’re lessons are there
Engraved on your soul
Though nobody sticks around
Long enough to know
All of the chapters
That make you…you
The underlined passages
And the blank spaces too.
They want to skip ahead
Read the ending of the book
While you’re still trying to explain
Everything it took
To muster up the courage
To try once again
To find happiness
And faith that never ends.
Only to leave you,
alone in the void
When echoes are whispering
And you become paranoid.
So it doesn’t really matter
For a guarded girl like me
To bare the weight of my own armor
Because I know it’s heavy.
So I’ll just stay here in my corner
I’m quite familiar with this place
I alone, am my own army
I alone, will keep me safe.
Never again will I join
Another on the field
Just to have them call a truce
Because it’s hard for me to yield.
