Category: Poems

I write about what disturbs me, what I love and fear
I put it all on paper
Words others, will never hear.
The pen held in my fist
Does not turn away
It waits so patiently
For what I need to say.
And though the paper may be damp,
From tears not brushed aside,
It still offers me solace, saying
Here…you must not hide.
So I pour forth the emotions
The anger and the pain
Now the paper is slightly crumbled
Yet chooses to remain.
Silently begging,
taunting too
As 3 am shouts
There’s more inside of you.
The pages are filled
Dry, now is my pen
I split myself open
Through the words within.
Another book now
Placed on the shelf
I don’t need a mirror
To look at myself.
If you look for me
I can only be found
On the coffee table
I’m leather bound.
The inscription inside
Will read like this
It was here
That I loved…
Here That I lived!
RaenellDawn

02/08/2017 & 8:58 pm

Good morning 2 am
Again, its you and me
Whisper to me gently
While I grab my coffee.
Come sit beside me
on the sofa there
You’ve got my full attention
Tell me please, what did you hear.
What did the winds tell you
As the clouds rolled by
Blocking out the moon
In the early morning sky.
The night trains whistled
And the railroad tracks groaned
The river raged downstream
Along the streets of your home.
Telling the breeze
That gently blew
“Go find her,
She needs you”
Tell her the shadows
That dance through the day
Weep at sunset
From what they need to say.
The sun will not listen
It just burns in the sky
Full of self importance
Though it’s weaker than the night.
The Daylight holds secrets
It doesn’t want known
That drift apart like dust
But eventually are shown.
For the midnight hour
When embers glow
You can see them clearly
The night ensures you know.
The wind gathers speed
From all its been told
The weight is immense
It’s too much to hold.
Rushing to find her
It must arrive before dawn
To unburden itself
Before moving on.
It blows through the window
Surrounding me and 2 am
In a tornado of voices
I absorb and understand.
My God, it is heavy
Is this mine, to also bear
All alone in the darkness
Pen and paper there.
Feverishly writing
The wind speaks so low
Rapidly disclosing all
Before it must go.
As the sun starts to rise
And the breeze fades away
She knows daylight will blind you
From what the night has to say.
She’ll set down her cup,
Lay aside paper and pen,
Whispers of her gratitude
Float away with the wind
RaenellDawn
02/09/17 @ 3:34 am

I love to sit in spaces
When it’s dark, and I’m alone
To think about my life
Where it is, That I come from.
I’m divided into segments
Where I lived year to year
Scattered across the country
And in those that I hold dear.
The outskirts of LA,
A small river town
The shore of the Atlantic
Is where I can be found.
There are scraps of me on people
That took pieces of me each time
Sought solace in their presence
And sanctuary I would find.
The stranger at the restaurant
That took my hand and asked
“Honeychild, why you running
What you leave, you can’t get back”
The bum behind the bushes
His blanket that I took
I returned it later
And he gave me this look
So much we exchanged
Of ourselves to each other
As he held my hand I knew
He would be with me forever.
All the kids playing hopscotch
At the city park
Their laughter on the wind
I loved them till dark
When they raced home
With the setting sun
My smile was given
To each little one.
The friendships that came
For just a short time
I hold pieces of them
That will always be mine.
The lovers I knew
And faces I learned
Their lessons and touch
Will forever burn
A cauterization,
Never meant to heal
Leaving Open wounds
I’ll always feel.
As the sun
begins to rise
My life playing out
In my minds eye
I marvel now
How I am whole
When I leave pieces of me
Wherever I go.
RaenellDawn 02/11/2018

My waiting seemed like an eternity
While you just took your time
No matter how many times I paused
You fell further behind.
It must have been more interesting
More important to say at least
The things that capture your attention
And made you slow your feet.
How many times did I come back
And try to take your hand
To move you past the obstacles
And get to where I am
But you always chose the detours
Content to let me run
A journey made for two
A destination for only one.
Objects in the rear view mirror
Became so small I couldn’t see
There was only my reflection
Staring back at me.
I threw the map out the window
Pushed the pedal to the floor
Set myself on cruise control
I’m looking back no more.
RaenellDawn 02/06/2017

You can’t open my doors
My windows are blacked out
I sit lonely on a street
Forgotten all about.
My floors are stripped bare
My walls are peeling
The rooms are empty
What a hollow feeling.
Everything’s been packed
And stored in the attic
Done in haste
Completely erratic.
Trunks of memories
Pictures galore
Little mementos
That matter no more.
Meaningless faces
Stare back to see
Whose holding the camera
Almost always me.
Caretakers abandoned
In the dead of night
Said I am haunted
After disconnecting the lights.
The hallowed ground
Where nobody treads
Now briars and brambles
The flowers are dead.
My thick foundation
Is on solid ground
It supports the beams
To which I am bound.
If you should see me
While out for a drive
You need only to knock
I might let you inside.
If you are trepid
And stay on the walk
Move along quickly
My walls won’t talk.
RaenellDawn 12/08/2016

I love 2 a.m,
It’s the best part of the day
Pen and paper wait excitedly
To what I have to say.
My entire world is quite
Surrounded by the night
I can lower my guard
And let out some light.
I can sort it all out
When my mind finally slows
Pack away the thoughts
That nobody knows.
I can speak without fear
And have no remorse
At the raw, honest words
Through pen and paper of course.
I don’t have to edit
Or close caption a word
Letting lose emotions
That nobody heard.
There’s freedom in writing
It cleanses my soul
A redemption of sorts
In just letting go
Perhaps one day
Someone will find
These pages I keep
And can read my mind.
They’ll read my books
And finally understand
I’m only “me”
At 2 a.m
RaenellDawn 12/02/2016

I wear my heart on my sleeve
Under a winter coat
My emotions behind walls
Surrounded by a moat.
Pictures line the halls
Their history in the books
Though everyone is interested
Nobody really looks.
They see only dust
A castle grown cold
Spiderwebs in corners
Memories of the old.
I stand on a cliff
Overlooking the sea
Longing for a lighthouse
To shine it’s light on me.
Dark as midnight
The storm blows in
The water rises
Carried by the wind.
Alone I fight
On this vacant shore
Until one day
I can fight no more.
There will come a storm
Mightier than me
That will crumble these walls
And wash them out to sea.
RaenellDawn 11/23/2016

Some days are for writing
The story within
And one never knows
Where it will begin
You’re pushed from sleep
In the wee morning hour
Paper and pen
Have gained full power
As words fall down
Onto a blank page
Leaving a legacy
In what you must say.
You speak to the world
Those that will listen
Not all understand
Why your pages glisten.
Nobody ever saw
When your tears would fall
They remember your smile
But knew nothing at all
Of the torture your demons
Made you suffer each day
For if they had noticed
What would you say?
Would you grab their shoulders
Turning them to see
Your shattered pieces splayed out
While you whisper “that’s me”.
Gently picking each shard
Up off the floor
Then you have to explain
Why it doesn’t fit anymore.
They can’t comprehend
Because your skin is unmarred
That all of these fragments
Left behind deep scars.
Physical abuse
Is preferable you see
To the emotional damage
That does not bleed.
There’s no scabbing over
Or white scar left behind
And there’s so many pieces
Of you…you can’t find.
And then there are those
You stare at confused
Your mind in denial
…that used to be you.
Now they’re laying there
In a crumbled heap
And you’ve no idea
Which ones to keep.
Will they ever fit
Back into place
And the smile you force
Can never erase
The battles you’ve fought
And barely survived
All your prayers to God
Asking him why…
Then as the sun
Begins to rise
HE softly whispers
“You are my light”
“I had to take those pieces
Away from you so
Others that suffer
Knew the way to go”
“So write it all down
It’s just another book
Teach everyone
What it took.”
To climb up out of
Your Hell on Earth
Let your story be written
So they can read your words.
RaenellDawn 01/27/2018

Here’s to those that said, they’d always be here,
But I woke to find them gone
And the words that came as promise’s
Vanished with the dawn
I raise my cup to salute you
An acknowledgment of sorts
Knowing they were never worthy
And I deserve so much more.
The wine tells me I’m a loner
Always meant to go as one
As my crystal reflection stares at me
Cast by the setting sun.
I hold my head high
For I stayed the course
Accepting true love
Doesn’t exist anymore
And the moon that bares witness
To every shattered dream
Hangs low in the morning
So paths can be seen
fear not the dark
The moments of despair
For when the sun rises
You’ll see your shadow there
Holding your hand
Pulling you through
no matter what
All you’ve got is you
So square your shoulders
Find your grit
Hear the beat of your drum
This is it
Your life laid before you
You will march on
And your shadow will dance
This is your song.
RaenellDawn 02/02/2018