Category: Poems

Good Morning Lord

I’m just checking in

While sipping my coffee

I’m recalling when…

I shook my fists

At you enraged

No solace was found in

Your words on the page.

I remember each moment

I turned my back on you

The weight of my grief

The only truth I knew.

I held to it so tightly

That we became one

Blaming the Holy Ghost,

The Father & The Son.

How helpless

You must have felt

Watching my suffering

On my knees I knelt.

Though no prayer

Could pass my lips

My name remained

There on your list.

My head is now bowed

Please forgive my sins

I’m right here Lord

I’m just checking in.

Parking lot pondering …

My drum is so much louder now
A steadier beat than those
Who claim to hear its rhythm
But the song they do not know.
They’ve never heard the words
The bass is too low
Try to dance to the sound
Skip a beat, miss the tempo.
The sound at times is deafening
Even then they barely hear
The echo from the amplifier
Rings out as a whisper.
Still I keep pace
Stay true to my song
This is MY music
And I’ll march on.
I won’t change the lyrics
True to myself I’ll remain
While everyone’s changing stations
My channel stays the same.

Everyone expects to see the smile, to hear the laughter from within,
You lend a hand, lend an ear
Time and time again.
You find the missing pieces
Put them back in place
Clean up all the messes
Never leave a trace.
You’re the 3 a.m phone call
Voice on the other end
Calming words of wisdom
To a stranger or a friend.
You pick up the slack
Others leave undone
The go to person
You’re always the one.
You keep it all together
They say you’re the glue
To fix what they’ve broken
Their shattered lives into.
Your energies spent
Going beyond and above
Healing what’s wounded
In all that you love.

Then in the down time
When it’s only you
You fall apart in silence
From the damage they do.
Your blood runs red
As tears fall down
The emotions scream
Though there is no sound.
You hold it in
While letting it out
Putting it on paper
What it’s all about.
You fix yourself
That’s what you do
You save the world
But nobody saves you.

They stopped making paper roses
When it became clear
That the lady on the corner
No longer stands there.
Nobody was aware
Or seemed to mind
She was always “just there”
Each and every time
They happened to pass
Or cast a glance
Always assuming
They’d have a chance
To pick one from
The bouquet she carried
Or the wagon she pulled
There was no need to hurry.
Until the day
They needed one
But when they arrived
The lady was gone
Only a posting
Was left behind
To her own garden she went
For real flowers this time
She traded cold concrete
And disposable love
Those Roses made of paper
Were just a representation of
What could only be found
In gardens well tended
Though nobody noticed
Until her corner days ended.
RaenellDawn 

I should come with a warning
So your not blindsided by
My multitude of layers
and my many different sides.
A label that explains
When you first meet me
That at that precise moment
I’m who you need me to be.
One that lays out
That you won’t always get
The layer I was
When we first met.
Different people
Require different layers of me
So I’m constantly changing
For who they need me to be.
A label with clear direction
On what I need from you
Because my mouth will not request it
At times I become mute.
A “how to” tag
For my proper care
Handle me gently
Or I won’t be there.
A manual of explanations
That I sometimes can’t give
To help you understand
This life that I live.
A booklet full
Pages of instruction
For getting to know me
So you can follow direction.
A label that clarifies
Boundaries set in stone
Pay heed to those lines you cross
Or simply, leave me alone.
A receipt that shows
Line by line, how I’m made
Then circled at the bottom
The high price I’ve paid.
A manufacturers warranty
So you could trade me in
When it becomes obvious I don’t fit
In the box I came in.
May a refund be granted
To both you and I
When “no longer available “
Is the makers only reply.

RaenellDawn

If it wasn’t for writing
They’d think me insane
I speak all their truths
Without mentioning names
My pen is my dagger
The paper a tomb
My mind is a multitude
Of dark cavernous rooms.
Nobody travels
Or explores through the halls
Terrified of the images
cast on its walls.
Like mirrors they shine
And reflect back to
My brutal honesty
And truths of who
Ever left ghosts
Behind when they parted
I can pinpoint the moment
The madness all started.
That very second
That I recognized
Everyone wears
Some sort of disguise.
So I’ve adapted
And wear one too
Now the only difference is
I can still see you.
I’ve learned to shield
Myself from the whole
And I’ll always be someone
That nobody knows.
RaenellDawn 

Daddy always said
With a twinkle in his eyes
Daughter you came out stubborn
Doctors couldn’t make you cry.
Yes, you got mad
Your skin turned bright red
But you wouldn’t scream
And those doctors said
There must be something
Wrong with this child
But I knew that your heart
It was born pure wild
You learned how to run
Before you could crawl
Never let anyone close
Kept your back to the wall
Where you could dart
This way or that
Away from eyes upon you
Wherever they sat
You would get so angry
And just hold your breath
Till you collapsed on the floor
And we witnessed your death
I would scoop you up by your ankles,
Give you a spanking
Till you breathed again
And I was thanking
The good Lord above
For this wonderful blessing
Then off you’d go
And I’d revert to cursing
As your heart got bigger
So did your mind
The wanderlust took you
To all the places you could find
Full of adventure
With no sense of fear
Till the calls came
And I heard your tears
“I’m so sorry Daddy,
That I am gone
But I’m okay
Please carry on
It’s so big
This beautiful world
And no matter what
I’m still your little girl
Remember that I am
A spitting image of you
And no matter what Daddy,
I love you too.

RaenellDawn

I’ll open the door with a sentence
Before you ring the bell
Your lack of response says
More than words will ever tell.
You just stand there looking blindly
At me and then the floor
Then you turn slightly sideways
You don’t want to hear no more.
So the words will go unspoken
The feelings be suppressed
All my truths are too binding
And make you feel oppressed.
The depths at which I swim
You dare not even tread
You fight a bloody battle
But yet you fear my head.
When my words go unspoken
And to the corner I am cast
At any given moment
The chance could be your last.
I won’t stand indefinitely
In the doorway you see
If your eyes don’t look up
You can’t see me.
The silence will tell
What needs to be told
and the shadow you cast
Just lets in the cold.
Please keep on walking
Don’t hesitate
Either enter or leave
So I can close the gate.

RaenellDawn

Solitude
Feels good to me
I wear it well
My own company.
I’m fully present
Keenly aware
Of those that take up space
But aren’t really there.
Those that say
“You never call”
Are the same ones
That haven’t called at all.
And me, I won’t make
The first move each time
I’ll distance myself
Till I cross their mind.
Let them make the effort
To stay in touch
The burden for one
Is just too much.
I become quite comfortable
And it’s a welcome reprieve
The isolation, that surrounds me
When everyone leaves
For months and years
When they just go away
And you don’t even wonder
What happened that day
The last time you saw them
The last time you spoke
Would it have been different
If you had known?
I’ve become adept
At never saying goodbye
Letting people go
In the blink of an eye.
If leaving me
Is so easy to do
Why should I hurt
Over losing you?

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